Are you living under the influence of trauma? It is easy to see when a person is under the influence of drinking too much alcohol, or high on drugs. People who have experienced trauma are also often under the influence of that trauma. Usually people do now know how much their trauma has affected them.
If you prefer to read instead of watching videos, here are my notes from the above video:
It is normal to feel anxious about seeing a therapist for the first time. Most people I know who seek therapy are highly sensitive persons, who are more prone to anxiety than non highly sensitive people. I have seen a number of therapists and even though I am a therapist, felt anxiety the first time I saw each therapist
If you do seek therapy, it does not mean you have lost control over what will happen. You can and need to educate your therapist about what you want to get out of therapy, if you feel the therapy is triggering too much intense emotion too fast, if you have questions about the methods the therapist is using.
Related to this , you can control how much you open up to your therapist. Test your therapist first to see if the therapist listens, is empathic. Let yourself have time to develop a trusting relationship
Not every client and therapist are a good match for each other. You usually can tell within one to 3 sessions if you feel comfortable with the therapist or have a sense the therapist can help you. If you don’t feel good about the therapist, you are not required to keep seeing that therapist and try another therapist. Some therapist offer free 15 minute consultations to help you get an idea about the therapist
You may feel embarrassed to share your experiences and feelings. Rarely are therapist judgemental and if you feel your therapist is judging you, please bring it up right away to see if there has been a misunderstanding, and if not, it would be best to stop seeing that therapist.
Therapists are far from perfect and always have their unresolved issues. They probably will have more compassion for what you feel and have gone through than you have for yourself.
Consider the consequences of not getting therapy especially if you have had dysfunctional family upbringing which research has shown greatly increases risk of long term mental problems, relationship problems and serious health problems. You get stuck in life and can’t move forward like you want to.
You may feel you can not afford therapy. If you or the subscriber of your health insurance works for a company check to see if they have EAP sessions, Employee Assistance Program, that can offer anywhere from 3 to 25 sessions free a year. Some of my clients work at Starbucks partly because that company offers 20 free sessions a year.
Link to my video of 20 free resources on the internet for emotional problems
9-Link below to blog post called Therapy for Every Budget, How to Access it:
depression support groups, anxiety support groups, bipolar support groups, sobriety support groups, OCD support groups, eating disorder support groups, PTSD support groups
Sometimes therapy will trigger uncomfortable feelings and painful memories. It is often hard work especially if you have complex trauma. As one therapist told me many years ago, if you have buttons that can be pushed, don’t blame the person who pushes your buttons, instead work on yourself until you have no buttons to be pushed. There is a phrase with much truth “you have to feel to heal”
Quote from book Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families: “People want recovery but they prefer it to be pain free. That is understandable but unfortunately, identifying and feeling our feelings is a part of healing. People are afraid they are too fragile and will fall apart. …But feelings are cues and signals to tell you what you need.”
Most important keep in mind that processing these painful memories have the possibility of helping you feel lighter, more positive, and peaceful than you have ever felt before. The pain does not last forever and the pay off is good the rest of your life.
So in summary, give therapy a chance. If you have nothing to lose, even if if does not work out as you hoped it would, you gain more experience communicating with someone and taking care of yourself. On the other hand therapy may help you far more than you hoped it would. That has been true for many clients I have worked with.
In this video I cover harmful long term effects on brain health including how research shows over a 28 year period, it increases the chances of dementia.
In the video below I quote 10 people who have experienced how EMDR helped change their painful emotions and experiences into new perceptions and understanding:
Over the years I have become familiar with many resources that are free that can help people with troubling emotions. I described these briefly in this video:
