These are my thoughts of an interview Dave Asprey did with world-wide known author and teacher Byron Katie called “Hacking the Voice in  Your Head” (the interview can be found here)

Katie shares how she spiraled down into 10 years of depression, rage, self-loathing and agoraphobia. She had been unable to leave her bedroom most of the time.  These emotional problems were greatly changed at age 43 in 1986 when she became aware that her suffering was caused by believing her thoughts. She realized that when she questioned these negative thoughts she stopped her suffering. Katie felt compelled to help others who were in the same dark hopeless hole she had been in.

Katie created a simple method to change one’s mindset called THE WORK that she has taught to millions of people. She provides free information on how to do this at: here. There are many youtube videos showing Katie skillfully helping people using The Work. Watching these videos can teach you how to apply this process to different kinds of problems: not feeling good enough, jealousy, resentment, and fears.

Katie said in the interview that when she believed her thoughts of “I am not good enough…Is something wrong with me…It is their fault….. that there had been “no way out.” She went through cycles of judgement and guilt. She was unable to deal with normal life. Then she came to understand how the mind works. She said “there is a way out”. She changed so radically that her children and husband wondered who she was.

Although normally people change slowly I have seen times in my life and other people’s lives where we feel as the interviewer Asprey said, “Enough is enough.” In my life 30 years ago I became inspired by others in the 12 step group I was attending to become “abstinent” from compulsive overeating. I was so tired of the physical and emotional pain that overeating had caused me. I felt ready to “be willing to go to any length” as the Alcoholic Anonymous book states. I stopped allowing using food as an option to help me with my emotions.

The commitment to become abstinent changed my life for the better in many ways. I did not make this change on my own. I had help from therapist, a  12 step sponsor and other people in the 12 step program.  When people cannot change themselves as they want to, I feel it is most often due to not having enough support and information. If you want to change something about your life and have not been able to yet, I hope you would allow yourself to seek support from a therapist, a friend, a family member or a self-help support group or a combination of all 4 options. Change is hard. It is a set up to fail to try to do it all on your own.

I believe anyone can make a decision to change their lives for the better. Aspey told Katie that her method The Work freed up “a huge amount of energy for me…to do so much more of what I am meant to do.” Katie said “there is no situation we can’t make peace with.”  When Asprey asked her to summarize in one sentence what people can do to improve their lives she replied, “Clear the mind”.  In 3 words she summed this up! Wouldn’t it feel good to clear your mind of worries, resentments and shame?

Katie’s method The Work instructs people to ask themselves “Is this true? Can I absolutely know that this is true?” Let me give you an example from my life. Earlier this week I wanted to paint a 30 by 40 inches of a spring scene for my spiritual center. I wanted it to be EXTRA special and beautiful. For my reference, I picked an instruction video Kevin Hill did.  As I was painting it, I realized the mountains were too dark. So I redid them. Then I did not have the background tress dark enough. I repainted the trees. Four hours into the painting my thought was “this painting is going to come out terrible. I am just wasting my time.”

I questioned that stressful thought by reminding myself I had thought this many times before in the middle of a painting only to have the painting come out well. This calmed the fear down. I prayed fervently for help for this painting to work.  Two hours later I felt the painting might turn out OK. It took a total of 13 hours to complete a painting I liked a great deal.

Now sometimes a painting does not come out as good as I want it to, no matter how much I rework it. Two weeks ago I spent 4 hours painting a 5 by 7 in painting of a mouse looking at a butterfly.  I do not like how the mouse turned out.

I used to feel shame and disappointment when I felt a painting did not turn out well but my sponsor told me it just meant I needed to practice and develop more skill. That took the shame out of it. She helped me change how I saw the painting and how I felt about myself.

Another personal example where I used what Katie teaches is when recently a client had left a message on my cell phone complaining of a way I handled a situation. She was very upset. I was tired, on a 24 hour fast and feeling irritable. I felt she was over reacting. I thought “People want too much from their therapists!”  But then I used the inquiry Katie teaches. Was the client asking too much of me? Was I wrong for what I did? I realized I had made a mistake. The last thing I wanted to do was call the client to apologize that afternoon but I also did not want her to be so upset. I felt I owed her an amends. I called her to acknowledge I had made a mistake, and I thanked her for pointing out what I had done wrong so I would not do it again with other clients. I offered her a way I could make up for it. She was grateful for my call.  This warmed my heart. I felt better by the end of the call than I had felt before she called.

The most moving and dramatic part of the interview with Katie is 34 minutes into the interview. She describe one night she was out walking when a man came up to her asking what she was doing there,  put a gun into her stomach and said he was going to kill her. Katie shared, ”He looked into my eyes. I looked into his eyes. I saw terror. And at the same time I saw the moon and the sky and the clouds and how the light from the moon hit the clouds in the sky and it was amazing” (OK I just have to comment about this, how in the world was she able to notice the beauty in the sky when her life was at stake? Amazing.)

Katie noted that the other way she could have thought about this situation was to “have imagined him killing me, to imagine the pain, to imagined not seeing my children again. I was not in the position to run but I was in the position to look into his eyes and experience compassion. And he put the gun down.” Aspey asked Katie why she felt the man put the gun down. She said, “I think in the absence of fear, what is there to fear?” She also said another thought that came to her mind right after the man threatened to kill her was “ I hope he does not do that to himself.” I am so impressed that she responded in that way. She was not thinking of herself but only of his best interest. To be so free of fear and caring of the other person when one’s life is being threatened! It is admirable.

Some of my favorite quotes of Katie from this interview include:

“Life is what we believe it to be….we put the post its on all we see.”

“The thoughts aren’t strong without the movie” (the movie is what we imagine about the situation, what we play it in our mind of we think will happen or is happening, how WE THINK other people think about us negatively)

“Let’s do what we can do where we are and change things. It is a powerful life we have been given.”

Katie recommended to Aspey to tell his listeners to “Try this one on, the Universe is friendly and …I would just open up my eyes and see where it is true.” She ended the interview with this statement:

“I would question anything that keeps me from being happy in my life.”

We are a total of our life experiences and perceptions. When people have many negative experiences their perceptions of the world and other people become negative. If you would like help to clear out these negative feelings and perceptions, please call or text me at 586-799-2399. I offer free 15 minute phone consultations.